A holiday marked as the celebration of love, Valentine’s Day, is just ahead of us. However, for many singles, the anticipation of this day brings loneliness, feelings of rejection, and even becomes something that clinicians call “a dating app fatigue.” They warn that the pressure to find connection can intensify stress and low mood, particularly for those relying on digital platforms, and suggest we turn toward self-love and away from dating apps when these feelings emerge.
In fact, research from Flinders University shows that dating app users report worse mental health and wellbeing outcomes, including higher levels of anxiety and depression, compared to non-users.
On top of that, frequent experiences such as being “ghosted” are associated with lower self-esteem and increased depressive symptoms, while heavy users report patterns of emotional exhaustion and reduced enjoyment, often described as dating app burnout.
“The prevalence of depressive symptoms and emotional burnout as a result of online dating is a clear indicator that we need to deepen our connection with ourselves first,” says Dr. Hannah Nearney, M.D., clinical psychiatrist and UK Medical Director at Flow Neuroscience, a company that develops brain stimulation tools for depression treatment.
“During the Valentine’s Day period, we put additional pressure on ourselves to find connection. In doing so, we can risk finding ourselves in relationships which are not fulfilling just to ‘validate’ ourselves.”
Among young adults, dating apps have become the primary route to meeting romantic partners.
A study published in the British Medical Journal found that 75% of users reported repeatedly deleting and reinstalling dating apps, a behaviour linked to higher depressive symptoms and impulsivity. Experts say this pattern reflects compulsive engagement driven by social expectations.
“Repeatedly deleting and reinstalling apps, checking your phone compulsively, and feeling more anxious, low or impulsive the longer you use them is a strong tell we’re losing control over our behaviour. When people feel pressure not to be alone, apps can start to feel less like a tool for connection and more like something they rely on emotionally. This is the point at which our mental health can begin to suffer,” says Dr. Nearney.
Expectations around love intensify stress, loneliness and disappointment, and this is especially noticeable around Valentine’s Day.
For example, a study on Chinese and Western Valentine’s Days found that days before and after these holidays showed significant changes in suicide risk compared with other days of the year.
Single women showed a 74% higher risk five days before Chinese Valentine’s Day, and married women a 60-86% higher risk around Western Valentine’s Day.
The authors suggested these patterns may reflect unmet romantic expectations and distress tied to social narratives about love and connection. For those using dating apps, the holiday can act as a magnifier for already unmet hopes.
“Seeing such data, we need a reminder that love doesn’t only come from a partner or a match on an app, but can take the form of self-love and looking after your mental health,” says Dr. Nearney.
“This means practising self-compassion, staying connected to people in real life, and remembering that your worth isn’t measured by dating app metrics. Investing in friendships, community, and everyday moments of connection is far more protective for well-being than digital validation alone.”
By encouraging clarity in expectations in different parts of our lives, we can reduce ambiguity and emotional distress. Research consistently shows that stable and supportive relationships, either romantically or with friends, are strongly linked to better mental health and resilience.
Alongside meaningful social connection, maintaining well-being also benefits from regular activities such as exercise, learning new skills, creative pursuits, time away from screens, and even recently approved brain stimulation techniques, all of which support emotional balance and cognitive health.
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